I Survived!

Have you ever put off something for so long it became a bit ridiculous? Not that you intended to put whatever "it" is off for so long, it just happened. Well that was me with going to the dentist.

It started when I had 2 of my 3 wisdom teeth pulled. It was not a pleasant experience so I decided I would give my teeth a break. Our dentist at the time was very thorough and gentle, just the way you want a dentist. Except that he was so good that he kept himself in business by always having a "to do" list in your mouth. For many years we had no dental insurance so I "chose" not to go to the dentist to save money. Convenient.

Every month for the last 2 years I have been writing a check for dental insurance for the family. Greg and the boys have been making fabulous use of the service. At least someone was!

All my excuses were striped away but anxiety now replaced all the rational reasons to not visit the dentist. Tick. Tock. Time just keep marching on. How could I go after not going for so long? Totally rational right?! I suppose I should be truthful with you, just so you get the full picture. The last time I went to the dentist I was not yet a mom or even pregnant. Hmmm, Josh is 14 1/2, so I figure it's been about 16 years! {{GASP}} I KNOW!! What good mother faithfully makes her children go to the dentist and yet sets such a poor example for them? Fifty lashes with a wet noodle as my 7th grade math teacher, Mrs Smith, used to say.

IF I went to the dentist he would surely yell at me. I had visions of those rotting teeth photos they showed us in 6th grade health class. Do you remember the ones? The pictures of smokers who had cancer of the mouth, totally decayed teeth and bleeding gums. I think it was the scared straight program for dental hygiene! I had dreams of root canals and gum disease. I had created a monster in my mind. Funny how the imagination runs wild when it goes unchecked!

Pain. It was inevitable. I low, dull pain in the upper right side of my mouth. I knew I could not continue living a fantasy. I called the dentist and made an appointment for a cleaning. Gotta start somewhere, right? I thought a million times about cancelling but it did get me out of work 2 hours early. Thankfully work is so busy I didn't have time to think about it until it was time. Plus I had told Greg and the boys and they would surely ask me about it when I got home. I didn't want to compound "lame" mom with "wimp" mom.

When I made my appointment I begged the receptionist for a gentle and kind hygienist. I threatened her with ugliness, potential passing out. vomiting or hysteria. She agreed, at least I hoped she agreed rather than secretly throwing me to the dental wolves, lol. Please no Nurse Ratched!! I think they knew they had a nut case on their hands because they didn't let me linger in the waiting room. They left no time for me to flee. The poor dental hygienist assigned to my care was a much older woman. My first thought was this could go two ways. She could either be sweet and gentle or she could be one of those people who takes no guff. Sit. Behave. Deal! She caught on quickly that I had left one line blank on my new patient forms. The line that asks when you last visited the dentist. I really hoped it wouldn't come up.

She asks "three years?"

Nope.

Five?

Nope.

Ten???

Nope.

To put an end to her misery, I told her 15. Close enough.

She didn't yell. At least not out loud. She looked around my mouth and simply said, "well it's not a total dental disaster in there".

Whew!!

I asked her how long she had been doing this line of work. Just making small talk. She started in 1968! I told her that was the year I was born so we both knew how long it had been, lol. I promptly told her we didn't need to pursue that conversation any further.

So, I got the works, bite wing x-rays, full mouth scan, scrapping, polishing...

I knew the last step was for the dentist to come have a looksy. We love Dr Bonnevie, he's the boy's ortho. Great guy and for a spell his is filling in seeing "regular" dental patients until the new dentist is up and running. He pulled up my x-rays and walked me through everything. He totally held my hand. Not literally, but you know what I mean. He didn't even yell. There was need of a filling though. But no root canal. Just an $86 filling, after insurance. I was leaping for joy inside. He asked me how I was feeling now that it was all over. I told him I was convinced that 15 years of plaque was surely holding my teeth together and I was very glad to hear I didn't have a dental disaster. He just laughed! And he didn't give me a laundry list of things to be done. He rocks!!

I survived. It didn't kill me. I might even go back!

Oh the Dreams...

The dreams and hopes we have for our children begin when we first learn about the life we are carrying. We pray for our children to be healthy, that they will grow up to know and love the Lord, that they will have character and heart, that they will be able to safely navigate the world and all its challenges. But we don't know exactly what form or shape their lives will ultimately take. We pour ourselves into them as best as we can, we pray for God to protect them and then we watch the wonder unfold. What will they like? dislike? what strengths and weaknesses will they possess? what talents will God gift them with? The unknowns are so great! I often feel like being a parent is like riding a roller coaster, exhilarating and frightening at the same time and to be quite honest, I often find myself screaming at the top of my lungs to get off the dang ride!! But after it is all said and done I run to the end of the line to get on the ride over and over again.

My boys are fast becoming men and though I try not to blink, life is marching on anyway. When kids are younger they are by your side day and night. You know their comings and goings, what goes in and quite literally, what comes out, lol. But as they get older they are away from you more and more. They start becoming more independent with personalities all their own. They start deciding what they will eat and where they will go, who they will befriend and how they will spend their time. Joshua is well on the road to being his own person. More and more these days I am having flashes of my little blonde boy and wondering where did he go?

Although neither Greg or I fish, Joshua loves fishing!! He has caught some monster sized fish over the past few years.

For the second, or perhaps third year, he has gone duck hunting with my brother. You have never caught Greg or I in waders waist deep in a swamp! I can pretty much promise you that you will never catch me in waders waist deep in a swamp. Well, maybe for some really big money and 100% guarantee of no holes in my waders, lol. But Joshua loves it, even with an occasional hole.

And no one in our family, with the exception of my brother, has ever gotten a deer!! But Josh can tell you all about his adventure this past Thanksgiving when he took his FIRST shot at a deer and got it!! He even helped to gut it before taking it to the deer processor.

I seriously don't know where this kid came from some days! He was the only baby on the unit when he was born, so I know he IS mine and he looks too much like us for anyone to ever claim otherwise. Yet, he is definitely his own person. His favorite thing to wear is anything camouflage and I have to remind him there are other clothes in his closet! He does however, have my admiration. I have little to nothing to do with his love of hunting or fishing but he gets lots of high fives for his passion, skill and determination.

If we are ever hurting for food, I know who I will be calling upon!!