Heartbroken

I wish we could rewind the last 48 hours. I want a mulligan, a do over. I want to take back the hurt and sorrow the last two days have brought. Unfortunately, my super powers are not so super. I don't even want to write it but here it goes...Daisy Mae is gone. I might feel a bit better if she had just run away but she is forever gone. We were just approaching the year mark of having her in our family and now instead of celebrating we are mourning.

I hadn't made plans for dinner on Thursday and the left overs were just not that appealing. I suggested we go to a place down the street for dinner. We put up the baby gate to confine Daisy to the family room like we always do when we leave her home alone. We scanned the room for stuff we didn't want chewed up. She wasn't really a big chewer but she did have a history of chewing on odd things like my cards, the boys' Nerf darts and pencils. Her chew toys were readily available. When we got home there were remnants of something on the floor. I was annoyed! What on earth was left for her to chew? Upon closer inspection, I discovered a few bits of a tube of cream that the dermatologist prescribed for Josh. It was on the end table and Daisy must have pulled it down, chewed it to bits and eaten the contents. All that remained was the cap and a few scraps of metal.

Now I was even more annoyed! The carpet was oily and I needed to go refill the cream before the pharmacy closed. I can't imagine it tasted good, what was she thinking? Don't answer that...she was a dog, I know! Dogs eat rocks and dead flies and worms and garbage and lots of stupid, inedible stuff! I asked the pharmacist about it and he informed me that the cream was quite corrosive, it was definitely not meant for consumption. I didn't have a good feeling about it and called Greg. He took her for a walk and by 10pm she was vomiting. I was glad to see it come back up and even more glad when Greg cleaned it up! Greg ended up staying up with her all night as she continued to get sick. By the morning she was unable to stand. We hoped it was due to dehydration.

The boys were clearly worried and Josh was feeling guilty that it was his cream that made her sick. But we made them board the school bus hoping to have better news when they got home. I rubbed Daisy's head and said a prayer over her before I left for work. Greg prepared to load her up in the Jeep so they could be at the vet's office when it opened. She started to have seizures. The vet gave her IV fluids hoping to flush things out. Hoping she would turn a corner. She never turned that corner and died shortly after lunch.

Can I just say how crappy this all is?! CRAPPY!!! First of all, I am MAD! Mad that I insisted we eat out, made that Josh left his cream out, mad at all those people who talked us into getting a dog in the first place and mad that the dog ate that stupid cream! But more than being mad, I am heartbroken. Daisy was Josh and Kaleb's buddy. She was Greg's great delight. She was THE dog for the Harp family. It is no secret that I wasn't so keen on getting a dog and truthfully, I complained about her a lot. She followed me everywhere. She poked me in the rear with her nose on a daily basis. She sat at my feet making it impossible to get up from the sofa without tripping. But I am heartbroken too. This was just not supposed to happen. If I wasn't a pastor's wife I would use a stronger word than crappy but it's all I've got.

When the boys returned from school we had to let them know the news. There were tears. There will probably be tears for awhile. We all need time to sort it all out.

A few hours ago I returned from the Women of Faith conference. I had made a commitment months ago to attend so despite the sadness, I went. It was a good distraction and offered time to reflect. Instead of remembering all the annoying things Daisy did, I thought of the good things. I thought of the joy she had brought. I thought of all the fun things Greg and the boys had taught her to do. I thought about how excited she always got at the sound of the Jeep pulling in the driveway. She delighted in us as well!

In a very crazy way, she reminded me of God. She gently loved on me, hoping to draw me in, but never in an obtrusive way. She would rather be with us than apart. She gently prodded me in the rear. I don't appreciate prodding from a dog or from God but sometimes I need it whether I like it or not. She didn't hold offenses against us and was always eager to see us. She delighted in us for no particular reason. Yes, we fed her, gave her affection and threw things for her to retrieve but she delighted in us beyond measure. Unconditional is the right word I think.

I am sad and at the same time grateful. We will miss our Daisy Mae.

First Day of School 2010

Yesterday was the first day of school for the boys. I am still in disbelief that Josh is now a high schooler! Kaleb is not far behind in 7th grade. Don't they look thrilled to pose for the annual first day of school photo?

There were only minor reports of getting lost, locker problems and teacher issues. After the first day there is always tons of homework for the parents, the boys think that is hysterical! They stop laughing on day 2 when they get all the assignments.

Poor Daisy is back to being home alone for good chunks of the day. We have secured a few more chew toys to keep her busy.

My new job is going well. There is a lot to the training and for now I am shadowing other coordinators when they go out for appointments. They keep telling me that it will all come together... about a year from now! Do you remember the Pixar film Finding Nemo? Dori kept singing "just keep swimming". Yep. That is me these days.

That's about it for us these days.

Just keep swimming....

The Harp Family is Alive and Well!

I guess all the thinking I did about blogging didn't actually do much good! I can't believe more than 2 months have gone by since I last was here. Like many of you, we have been extremely busy this summer. Here is an abbreviated update on our lives...

June

Greg traveled to North Carolina for his first 2 week session of doctoral work.

Kaleb finished 6th grade and made honor roll the 4th quarter! He worked so hard and it showed!

Josh finished 8th grade and now is moving on to high school. Oh my! I blinked and my baby is almost grown!

Both boys traveled with Mom and Dad to the Wood Turners Convention in Conn. They got to hang out with several Harp family members. Kaleb won his own lathe set up!!!!

Greg and the boys went to the Adirondacks for a week of canoeing with their Scout troop. Lots of good stories from that week, just ask them.

July

Attended Family Camp at Light House Christian Camp. Hottest week ever, we lost 5 lbs just in sweat!

Josh and Kaleb spent a week at Covenant Acres camp

Finally a week to rest.

Oma flew in from Germany, we picked her up from the Toronto airport

Spent our annual week at the cottage with Chris and his family. May be our last year for renting there. We had a great week, pictures are below. Thom, Mo, their kids, Mom and Dad camped near by so we had a chance to have a big family gathering.

Josh stayed behind with Chris to help them pack and prepare to move to their new house.

Kaleb went with a friend for a few days.

I did lots of canning of jams, salsa and sauce.

I tried out for a design team for a stamp company called Stampavie and was one of 5 new designers chosen from over 200 applicants!

August

Spent a few more days with my mom before returning her to the Toronto airport.

The boys spent more time with friends.

Greg worked hard on reading and writing papers.

I was offered a new job and have my first day on Monday. I will be working for the Niagara County Dept of Health as a Service Coordinator with the Early Intervention Program. Not sure yet what it all means but I am looking forward to it!

Phew! I think that covers the high lights of our summer. Here are some pics...

My mom and the boys before she left to go back to Germany.

Melissa and Logan going for a little ride. We eeked out every minute we could from the dying jet ski.

Here is the cottage we have rented for the last 5 summers. Small but perfect!

Of course there was fishing!

Kaleb water skied with his old Superman costume. What a riot!! His red cape was flapping in the wind as they buzzed the beach.

A group shot one night around the campfire. Mom looks like the wine was tasting good ;)

I am not sure we have ever had a busier summer than this one. Everyone seems to be ready for some routine again. I am sure I will eat those words very soon!

If you are still checking the blog out for updates, thanks for persevering! I will try hard not to let it go so long again.

Blessings and hugs!

I love This Kid!

On Sunday we went to Marshalls to buy Josh some shorts. He has outgrown most of his clothes and unfortunately the hand me down opportunities have dried up. While we were shopping, Kaleb found this hat he really liked. I wish I had a photo of it because it is hard to describe. It is a slick hat and definitely makes a fashion statement. Kaleb is usually all about blending in so his choice of this hat was rather surprising to me. But I agreed to buy it for him. That night we went for a walk and he was sportin' the new hat. On our walk we passed someone along the way. Here is our conversation...

Kaleb "They're looking at me"

me "maybe, so what?"

Kaleb "why does everyone look at me?"

me "maybe because you are a handsome fella"

Kaleb "Do you think they think my hat looks funny?"

me "Kaleb, first of all, you look very cool in that hat, secondly, I have news for you, the world does NOT revolve around you!"

Kaleb "That is really bad news Mom!"

OH. MY. ACHING SIDE! That kid totally cracks me up!

Yesterday was his last day of school which meant they gave out awards. With Greg out of town I thought it was important for me to go to support him. Teachers from each subject hand out awards for the best student, most improved student and a teachers choice. Kaleb has to work hard at school, it doesn't come quite as easy for him as is does for Joshua. He struggles a lot with math and math concepts. After he came just shy of making the honor roll the second quarter I challenged him to work on his math grade, figuring it would be the boost he needed to make it. He took the challenge very seriously and was able to raise his math grade considerably. He and I spent hours upon hours on his math homework over the last few months. He still missed the honor roll by a fraction of a point but we were so proud of him. Imagine how thrilled we all were when the math teacher presented him with the most improved student award!

It was a proud moment and I was so glad I was there to see it with my own eyes.

A Month in Pictures

As much as I may try, I am not Superwoman! We've been way too busy this last month to write about it! Here is a quick recap...

May 7th Greg and I celebrated 16 years of marriage. I was recovered enough from surgery to go out to the Olive Garden for lunch.

We have been doing the usual spring yard clean-up. It is nice to see things green again. While pulling weeds Greg happened upon this...

a nest of baby bunnies. They were so new their eyes were still shut. He covered them back up and that night momma bunny came and relocated everyone to a better pad. We counted 7 but think there may have been as many as 10-12.

Chris and Ethan came up for a few days of fishing. They caught several salmon. Here are the boys with their first catch. We enjoyed the fish for dinner the next night...mmm.

Over the Memorial Day weekend we took our new-to-us pop up camper to Lighthouse Christian Camp.

There was lots of this...

Notice the string Greg is holding? It was fastened to the tree so he could swing himself!

Josh actually slept in his hammock all weekend rather than inside with us. Can you say Boy Scout??

We ate the best donuts on the planet. They were fresh from the Amish market and I think we would have bathed in them if we could have, lol.

We are plotting when we might have them again.

On Sunday Greg flew down to Charlotte where he is now several days into his first session of his doctorate program. He is immersed in lots of reading and learning. Reality is setting in that we are in for a long road but we'll have to take it one day at a time.

That brings us to the latest, Josh celebrated his 14th birthday yesterday. One of the things on his wish list was a whole watermelon. So Kaleb gifted him one whole, seedless watermelon. He simply cut it in half and ate it with a spoon!

He said it was as good as he hoped it would be!

The boys are now just days away from finishing up school. We will soon have a high schooler in our house. Ack!! Double Ack!!

From now until the first week of August our calendar is jam packed. I hope to post before then but you know how it goes sometimes. We hope we have lots of fun stories to share!

Accessory-less

What comes to mind when you think of the word "accessory"? If you are a female perhaps you think of jewelry, handbags or any other kind of wardrobe enhancer. If you watch much Law & Order perhaps "accessory to murder" is your thought. I bet "accessory organ" wasn't the first thing to leap into your mind! That is what the doctor called my gallbladder a few weeks ago when he informed me it had to come out. Like somehow calling it an "accessory" would ease my mind, lol. How many accessory organs am I carrying around?? I already donated my tonsils when I was 10. Still have my appendix though. Greg is minus his appendix and his thyroid, another so called "accessory". The doctor was quick to contrast my "accessory" gallbladder to my "essential" heart. Phew, I was almost worried for a minute.

So, yesterday at 6am Greg drove me to the hospital to get de-accessorized. It took 3 nurses to get an IV in me which was probably the worst part of it all. Apparently I left my good veins at home. I asked the nurse if there was any way they could do some liposuction while they were in there. She didn't think it was funny. And the answer was a big NO. She must have been in a grumpy mood because she didn't think it was funny when I told her to make sure they didn't do any organ harvesting either...just the gallbladder. Sheesh!

The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room with blurry vision and nausea. That poor nurse tried her hardest to get me to wake up. She gave me ice chips, apple juice, graham crackers, kept telling me to take deep breaths and cough. I tried really hard but kept falling back to sleep. Every time I opened my eyes 20 minutes had gone by. I even tried to sing. I sang that little ditty "Jesus is the rock and he rolls my blues away, bop shoe bop". If you know it, then it is in your head now isn't it?! You're welcome. Another 20 minutes went by. She was determined to get me out of bed so I finally appeased her wishes and moved from the bed to the wheelchair. Where I proceeded to get so nauseous that I lost my guts. Boy what a mess! But I did feel better ;). After fixing me up she asked me if I wanted to go back to bed? Lady, make up your mind! I managed to get dressed and they were finally able to let Greg come back to see me. By noon we were pulling in the driveway. Yeah...6 hours start to finish. Isn't it amazing what they can do these days? My belly looks a bit like Swiss cheese but I feel really good. Much better than I anticipated. The doctor must have done a good job getting most of the gas out of me because I have had minimal pains. Haven't even touched any of the 40 Oxycodones they gave me. Are they trying to turn me into an addict?

Before surgery I asked about the possibility of seeing the stones they claimed I had. Sure enough, there were 5 stones, one of them almost a 1/2" big! The surgeon told Greg it was a good thing it came out because it was swollen and he could tell it had issues for some time. Apparently my body was compensating for it all this time because the attacks only started about 2 months ago. Boy am I glad I don't have to worry about another attack lurking in my future!

Now I get a few days to recover at home. I am liking the house all quiet and to myself. I promised Greg I would be a good patient so I am sticking to sitting at the computer, watching a bit of TV and hopefully finding time to stamp a card or two. I have lots of thank you cards to send after another very successful stamping event on Saturday. We had nearly 100 women from all over NY, PA, MA and Canada come for a day of stamping and fun. If you are interested in more about that adventure, I have posted some things on my inky-doodles blog (link is in the sidebar). The timing of the surgery worked out well, forced rest I think.

The rest of the fam is doing well. Greg is reading, reading, reading. His first session of school is coming up in June. Boys are doing well, looking forward to summer vacation.

I hope you and your accessories are doing well!

Celebrate!

Today we celebrated Kaleb's 12th birthday! Where does time go?? I remember the day he was born. We were living in Ft Lauderdale and it was the Tuesday after Easter. Mom was visiting with Gram, hoping that grandson # 2 would come while they were there. We gave mother nature a bit of help and scheduled to be induced. The hospital was just a couple of blocks down the street so Greg and I got up, ate breakfast and walked to the hospital. It was already quite balmy.

I don't recommend being induced when nothing is happening yet, it takes awhile and seemed to be extra painful. Joshua came so fast there was no time for an epidural so this time I was prepared. What I didn't count on was that it wouldn't work! ARGH!! Two babies, no pain meds. I am woman...hear me scream, lol!! Finally around 4:30pm we had a baby to hold. Nathan Christopher was the name we had chosen. Yep, you read that right, Nathan. But once we looked at him we knew the name did not fit. Babies come out all shrivelly and a bit Yoda-like so why Nathan wasn't as good as any other name I can't tell you. It just didn't fit. It took another day to decide he should be called Kaleb Christopher. Kaleb with a "k" so he could be nicknamed KC (which he has never taken to, go figure!) and also because it was the spelling in the German Bible. He was beet red for many days and had a bad case of jaundice but several doses of Florida sunshine took care of that. Look at this young family...ahhh the memories.

And now here we are, 12 years later. He is growing each day into this incredible young man. He still doesn't like attention to be focused on him but he is sly. You gotta watch him. And a goofy sense of humor. He laughs easily and often, I like that. We have so many silly moments. Here is one such silly moment...he took the bow from his present tonight and fashioned it into a mustache, lol.

He works hard at his school work even though he would rather be outside playing hockey. He runs super fast. He gets grumpy sometimes but I can hardly fault him 'cause he gets that from me. He still hugs his mom! I hope that part never ends. He says please and thank you most of the time. He has blue eyes that will melt the girls someday if they don't already! I'm not ready for that yet though. He is one special part of this family.

Josh celebrated something rare and super cool today as well. While he was outside practicing with his bow he managed to shoot a "Robin Hood" which is when you shoot an arrow directly into the end of another arrow. He was so excited he almost won't mind the fact that he has to go spend money to replace the arrows that are now permanently fused as one. He immediately hammered some nails into his bedroom wall so he could display it.

I missed posting about Greg's birthday three weeks ago. We cooked up some delicious steaks and asparagus. Mmmm was that a good dinner. The following day we enjoyed a walk along the Erie Canal. The canal is still drained but we were so glad to have nice weather we just had to get out and enjoy it. Daisy enjoyed it too! She quickly forgot all her walking training, there were simply too many things to see and smell...ducks in the canal, dogs on the path, flowers in the grass, ducks in the canal, did I mention the ducks? By the time we returned home we were all tuckered out, even the dog.

That about gets you caught up about life in Ransomville. We keep chugging along. Hope you are too!
Blessings,
Tracy